We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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