i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
