operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
