My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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