I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
