dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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