Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
