Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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