I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
