She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
