he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
