I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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