# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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