i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
