there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
