You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
