We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
