I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
