nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
