the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
