Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
