You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
