I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
