Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
