Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
honey bunches of taint.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
