I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
