I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
