please come you make the beer taste better
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
