Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
