You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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