i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
