Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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