Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
