My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
