He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
