What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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