I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
