This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
