im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
