Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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