Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
