I got chris browned last night
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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