Sponge bath it is.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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