You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
