talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I party with great urgency now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
