My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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