Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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