margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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