I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they're like a gay fantastic four
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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