Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
