Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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