went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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