I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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