Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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