I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
