I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
